Etiquette? I am the wrong guy to ask. I am a bull in the china shop of life. I simply don’t have the skills.
Sure, I know some "basics". I try to always say “please” and “thank you”. I always tip my server, and ask for what I want, rather than demand. That is probably far as my etiquette skills go.
Some folks (OK, lots of folks) would say I don’t possess the minimal amount of manners, much less any etiquette. They might be right. I can’t even seem to follow the “common sense” etiquettes. I have a hard time controlling my propensity for using “colorful” language in public, for example. (I know better, I just can’t seem to stop myself). But for other rules of etiquette, I am lost. The few rules I used to know (I didn’t say I followed them, just knew them) are going, or gone. Bow and curtsey are long gone, and rightly so. Stupid rules. So, unfortunately, is tipping your hat to a Lady (bummer, I liked that one). Standing up when a Lady enters or leaves the room? Pretty much on it’s way out too.
I have no idea how to respond in kind to a compliment, or a gift. I don’t know how to make “pitter patter” conversation, let alone be able to ask engaging questions. What do you say at a funeral? Dunno. Wanna know which fork to use? I don’t have a clue... I was hoping to follow your lead. And why in the world you have to extend your pinky when you drink tea is beyond me.
I may not know the old rules, but I can think of a couple new ones. If you want to have a cel phone conversation, go away. Don’t do it in front of the rest of us. And while we are at it, don’t answer your stupid cel phone in the middle of a live conversation. It is insulting and demeaning to the live people you were actually talking to. No texting and driving. Are those etiquettes? They should be....
I guess no matter how many of the etiquette rules we know or don't know, our society will always have a place for etiquette of some sort, whether I know, or can follow, all the rules or not.
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