If I won the lottery

Can you imagine the burden of winning the lottery?  I bet most people who play the lottery spend their time thinking about all the stuff they can buy if they win, or all the people they can help, or all the bills they can pay. Some may think of all the joy they can bring to others.  I bet there are even folks out there who daydream about spending potential lottery winnings spreading their religion.  No matter what your particular dream is, I suppose if you play the lottery responsibly, and only spend what you can afford to lose, then being able to dream about those things, in and of itself, was worth the price of the tickets.

     I am a bit different in that regard though.  It is probably no particular surprise to anyone who regularly reads these essays that I appear to have a moment of cynicism from time to time. (Ok, a lot of the time.)  In my twisted mind, nothing is as great as it appears on the surface.  Why should the lottery be any exception? 

     Paranoid as I am, the first thing that comes to my mind when I think of winning the lottery is the safety of my family.  The idiots from the lottery commission publish, and publicize, your name.  They might as well draw a giant target on you.  If things such as your address, or phone number, or your families’ addresses, are already public knowledge or easy to look up, the minute you win a lottery, you, and your family, are all targets for every lazy, worthless, ne’er do well scumbag on the planet with a computer. On top of that, your name is so well publicized that you will also have to deal with “world class” scumbags.  They are a lot better at being thieves than the local scumbags, and they will find you.  Trust me.  If you are smart, you will be aware extortion schemes, and criminal investment scams. You may be willing to deal with those, sure.  But what about kidnap schemes?  Are your kids, or grandkids, safe?   See what I mean about winning the lottery being a burden?  Is it worth it to you now?

     I wonder if I can hire a lawyer to collect the winnings without divulging my name?  Yeah, that’s the ticket…..Maybe I ought to buy a ticket after all…